Sassy Chat

There has to be something said for honest, direct and passionate advice on "How to do it LONGER, BETTER and HOTTER than ever.  I would hasten to add that enjoying sex, being an accommodating lover or just liking it hot and steamy is not a competition!

Did you know that women who love sex actually smell? It is not in a bad way either! When they are in a state of arousal, their body pumps come-and-get-me hormones called pheromones which speak to the male pheromones and then Mother Nature does the rest!

I recall being told that when a female moth wants to attract a male to mate with, she emits scents that males can perceive from long distances. But males also have scents that are attractive to females in varying degrees.

It is often good to be reminded that lots of men find curvy women way more attractive than the skinny girls that some females envy, because they find flesh extremely sexy and sensuous.

Did you realise the more weird the facial expressions during sex, the more passionate your partner is likely to be? Take all those peculiar looks as a compliment, as good sex is sloppy, sweaty and immensely unflattering! Usually we hyperventilate, frown, scream, show our tonsils and do a lot of scrunching up of faces in between gasps and moans.  It is normal!!

The answer is YES! Oral sex does feel better if the pubic hair is shaved off.  It allows for more-skin-to tongue contact without hair getting in the way.  The female is far more exposed to the male and as men are visually orientated, it is a big plus!

Did you know 53% of Australian women admit to having a "friend with benefits" or a "sex buddy" for regular but non-committed sex, at some stage in their lives?  Far from being frowned upon, lots of experts applaud it, saying it is a much safer option than a typical one night stand.

It seems it is incredibly rare to not have an orgasm girl-on-girl.  Yet it's incredibly common for straight women not to have one with their man!

Did you realise that the happier you are out of bed, the more likely you are to want to jump in it?

Accept that it is possible for your partner to truly love you and still not want to always have sex with you.

Don't expect spontaneous desire when it comes to having sex, accept you may need to create it.  It may take a wicked look, or it may take lots of kissing and stroking.  Do whatever it takes!

Now this is good!!  It is said that men fall IN love earlier than women and fall OUT of lover later - they're first in and last out!  Women are last in and first out - falling IN love later and falling OUT of love sooner.

It seems around 50 per cent of women and 75 per cent of men fantasize during sex with a partner. It is mainly at the beginning to increase arousal and at the end to tip us over into orgasm.

"Sorry honey I have a headache" should be "Yes please, I have a migraine"! A Chicago study shows migraine sufferers want sex more than people with other kinds of headaches.  The link between desire and migraines may be because they're both influenced by the brain chemical, serotonin.

Women over forty claim they're having the best sex of their lives and feel more adventurous in bed than they did in their twenties! And it is married women who are having the most fun.

Did you know that people who expect their partners to betray them, will usually do it first themselves!

Bet you didn't know.... Sex figures in only about 5 per cent of women's dreams, but when it does, it tends to be shocking and explicit!!

How is this? Speaking to a girlfriend this woman said "I spent most of my life faking orgasm whenever my partner had one because I thought they wouldn't want to be with me if I didn't.  Then one day I just got fed up.  I told my husband of two years that I'd been faking and was only able to have an orgasm through oral sex; he smiled and said, "I thought so".  Men  aren't  as stupid as you think!!

Footnote:   Much of this information was gleaned from More Hot Sex by Tracey Cox

According to a paper which is titled "Money, Sex and Happiness: An Empirical Study" two economists Andrew Oswald, of the University of Warwick and Dr David Blanchflower, of Dartmouth College in the UK, cite the results which support the fact that increasing how often you have sex boosts your happiness. From analyzing data on the self-reported levels of sexual activity and happiness of 16,000 people, it is apparent that the amount of sex you are having does make a difference to how happy you feel.

According to their report the happiest people had just one sexual partner! Interestingly 40% of the females had not had sexual intercourse in the previous year compared to 20% of the males. They also found that men who paid for sex were considerably less happy than other people and that those who have never had sex outside their marriage also report markedly lower happiness scores.

It was established that income buys greater happiness, but it does not buy more sex, and that sex appeared to have disproportionately strong effects on the happiness of highly educated people.

Another interesting point was the calculation that by increasing sexual activity from once a month to once a week increases your happiness levels as much as would a $65,000 a year pay rise!!

Whether that hefty happiness income boost is the result of marital bliss or more sex is up for debate. But their "econometric" calculations confirm what psychologists have long known: sex is strongly and positively associated with happiness.

With that said let me remind you that that there are also substantial health benefits in having a good sex life.  It keeps you feeling youthful, reduces stress and increases the feeling of contentment. Now go for it!

Is your sex life in a rut? Do you want to try out something new, but are unsure of how to go about doing so? According to author Tracey Cox in her book, Secrets of A Supersexpert  you just have to start sending signals.
If you are boring or your life is boring and uninspiring, it is unlikely you would leap into bed with a wicked gleam in your eye and a cache of sex toys clutched in your hands isn't it?  You need to be excited by life and in turn be excited by your partner.  So move the mundane missionary to the kitchen bench, or the bathroom floor and become more ravishing. 

Did you know two in every thousand men can perform oral sex on themselves, that women have the highest libido during days 12-16 of their cycle, and having more sex pretty much guarantees less erection problems. Just a few things to bring up at your next dinner party...

Tracey also points out, that while being in a long-term relationship can lead to love, often times lust and attraction can fade over time. Which does not always fare well for your sex life.
Here are some ideas to help spice things up, direct from  the supersexpert herself.

1. Location, location, location. Try getting it on somewhere unusual, whether in the car, outside, or just on the bathroom floor. The most familiar touch in the world feels wicked when a hand sneaks under the tablecloth in a restaurant to snake its way up the thigh.

2. Introduce sex toys to break up your routine. For vibrators, choose a stronger one, as you can always place it on a lower setting. In addition, make sure to store your toys separately and keep them clean.
Remember, have fun. Today's sex toy market includes toys that pleasure both men and women via vibrating, licking, rotating, and more.

3. Masturbate in front of each other. Besides being an instant turn-on for him, it allows you both to see exactly what makes each other tick. Pay attention to how he masturbates to find out what he likes—stroke by stroke.

4. Try a threesome. Nevertheless, beware the emotional backfires of having a threesome, and always try to focus on your partner more than the other person.

5. Get over society's sexual norms and instead focus on what you and your partner enjoy. Compromise with each other. If he wants to watch porn together, but you find it appalling, try watching an adult film made specifically for women.

6. Remember communication is the glue, even after years of marriage. Expecting your partner to just know what you need or want is ludicrous, they can't just magically read your mind.

7.  Erotic moves? Try some light bondage, silk handcuffs, pleasure ties and  blindfolds.

8.  Try some oral sex of a different kind.  Phone your partner and have a "Would like it if I come home and....."

Oh, and no matter the situation, lube never hurts, in fact having the slip, slop and slide effect ensures comfort and helps with a marathon session.

And another thing. If you are on your own, there is no excuse.  Keep those eyes sparkling, the smile playing at the corner of your mouth and  ensure you give yourself the pleasure of at least three orgasms a week!

Our physical, emotional, mental, sexual and spiritual wellbeing is worth looking after. Use stress management strategies to ensure you are taking small steps in the right direction. This can lead to BIG changes in your life.

Physical = walk, run, pedal, skip or go to the gym

Mental =  read, draw, do crosswords, sudoko, write

Sexual = savour orgasmic pleasure whether you have a partner or not

Emotional = have a massage, ask for a cuddle, smile and feel gratitude for what you have

Spiritual = Drink a glass of water.  SIT DOWN, close your eyes, take a deep breath from the abdomen all the way up into the lungs, as you exhale think the words EASE and FLOW.  You only need  3-5 minutes watching your breathing.

LELO, the world's leading designer brand of intimate lifestyle products, has proudly launched its most powerful Pleasure Object to date, the sleek and seductive SIRI. Combining the strength of the most powerful motor LELO has ever produced with the same whisper-quiet vibrations that make the company’s Pleasure Objects so popular, SIRI offers six unique modes and a four-button control interface. SIRI also stands as the most powerful rechargeable massager on the market today, always ready to give an extra burst of stimulation whenever needed.

Skillfully honed for clitoral and all-over body stimulation, SIRI’s more powerful motor enables her to deliver even more exciting and targeted vibes. These are in turn controlled by an intelligent microprocessor that conveys power through six varied stimulation modes. SIRI’s ergonomically contoured shape meanwhile directs the improved vibration strength through an almost silent buzz, ensuring nothing comes between the user and those soon-to-be-discovered delights. Featuring a beautiful and elegant design, SIRI is available in three colors – purple, dark red or pink -- and offers a silky smooth finish that’s sure to delight.

As with all LELO products, SIRI is produced with body-safe, FDA-approved materials which means she is Phthalate-free and made of silicone and PC-ABS. She comes with a rechargeable LI-ION battery that gives four hours of pleasure from a two-hour charge. SIRI also features an intuitive interface dial, producing a range of vibrations from flutter soft to intense pulsations. Of course there is the standard LELO one-year warranty, with manufacturing quality guaranteed.  So as these are hot off the press, i highly recommend you grab one to add to your pleasure box!!