Friends With Benefits (FWB)

This is when we call on our FWB. Friend With Benefits. This is someone that you have an unspoken understanding with. Someone that can be called, as they can call you, at any time, night or day. Then rendezvous as soon as possible to relieve the sexual tension that one, or both of you, is feeling.
There is no obligation for the callee to be available, and the caller does not feel rejected, they know this is not a good time and will try again next time there is the urge.

Usually both parties are in a similar situation. No ties, no relationship and readily available for use of the other. No strings, no emotions, just sex. In general very good sex. The holding of hair, pushing the boundaries, all over the house type sex. The sex you have at the beginning of a relationship before it morphs into love making and becomes more sensual and intimate as a loving relationship.

However, as there is no relationship this sex is always like first sex. The raw sex. The ‘satisfying of frustrations’ type of sex.

Many single people have a FWB, and from my experience many in relationships do too. But are we….those of us in this situation, sabotaging our chance at a real relationship whilst we are conducting this non relationship? Are we really available and wanting if we have the physical on tap?

I think so. From one who has always had the ability to separate the physical and emotional, I believe that you can be emotionally available whilst combating the physical need on another level.

But can a FWB ever become more? This I don’t think is a realistic possibility. Because of the nature of the FWB relationship you put an emotional hold on your feelings for this friendship. Usually for your own protection as it was never something that would be anything more. Therefore opening that vault can be dangerous if not impossible. For one thing it is tightly closed and for another you do not have the combination to unlock it.  Also, an emotional relationship is better to start that way, with all doors open so honesty and sincerity make for a truthful communication.

One thing I can be sure of is that these friendships can morph in the other direction and become just that. Friendships. My FWB is now my Friend. I no longer need him for the physical benefits, but we now hang out, discuss each others relationships and enjoy each others company fully clothed. I think this is because I am now making myself both emotionally and physically available for that someone special.

Until then it’s sassiness all the way.

Pepper Goldsmith.