Sex Is Not Over After 50!

Having worked with seniors at an assisted living community in Perth I can tell you sex does not end at fifty and why should it? I read once that sex in your prime has no superiority over senior sex and that is true. It is just different. When men and women become older there is time to enjoy a new world of sexuality, which is often overlooked in our lustful youth. Healthy seniors tend to become more at ease with themselves, to want to take the time to enjoy their sexual experience, to be more accepting of body image and much more in touch with intimacy.

The Statistics

In the US, a recent survey showed that 87% of married men and 89% of married women in the 60-64 age range are sexually active. Those numbers drop with advancing years, but 29% of men and 25% of women over the age of 80 are still sexually active.

The Myths

It is so common for women to believe that once menopause begins their sexual desire will diminish and they dry up! This belief is false and misleading. Once we have menopause sorted then life begins again. Thank goodness for lubricant, and especially the ones that are available with organic ingredients and also those Doctor’s who are willing to manage symptoms naturally. However some men and women’s libido does gently wane, quite naturally, but being held, hugged and gently stroked is as important in older age as it is for a baby!

Create the Mood

Older adults can benefit sexually from developing a relaxed and intimate mood prior to having sex; like sharing a romantic dinner, taking a shower or bath together, exchanging massages, or listening to music. Researchers recommend extended foreplay, including the use of vibrators and slower but longer intercourse for all sexually active adults.

Good Communication

Be willing to communicate. Changes in aging can lower your interest in sex, making it harder to become aroused, and interfering with your ability to connect emotionally with your partner. The stress of worrying about how you will perform, or whether you’re worthy of sexual attention from your partner, can lead to impotence in men and lack of arousal or orgasm in women. All of which need sensitive communication with your loved one. Clearly explain your anxieties, ask for and accept reassurance, and take things slowly to avoid performance pressure.

Get Some Extra Assistance

It is helpful to discover that, as sexually you change, there are other ways to be loving and achieve real satisfaction and enjoyment. For instance, if one partner needs manual stimulation to become aroused, and the other partner has arthritis in the hands or tires easily, a vibrator could be really useful. In older men, impotence is not necessarily caused by a decrease in testosterone, but often by medications, chronic illness, anxiety or depression. Occasionally older men have erection difficulties. This can then sometimes create an ongoing problem that might need professional help. There is always the option of trying oils that are rubbed into the penis daily.  This synergy of oils acts as a vasodilator.

Make Love in the Morning

It is often recommended that older adults make love in the morning. Being well-rested after a good night's sleep can mean good sex, and older men are more likely to have a firm erection in the morning.

Positions to Try

• The “spoon position”, in which both partners lie on their sides, the woman with her back to the man, is great for intimacy with or without intercourse.
• The woman on her back and the man at a right angle to her on his side.

• The person with less strength or endurance on her/his back, with the stronger partner kneeling above.
  

 Making the Most of It

Baby boomers coming into their 60’s are changing attitudes towards ageing. If someone sees ageing as depressing, hopeless and a sad state of being that is how it will be. If they see ageing as a rich and fulfilling part of their life's adventure that is how it will be also. It is a matter of choice. Life is what we make it, and starting with a proactive approach to our later years can make the difference. Seniors today are taking more control of their lives than ever before, living longer than before, retiring earlier than before and senior sex is not only on the rise, but getting even better!


© Sassy Vibes