Sassy Chat

Felt a little like old times yesterday.   I spent a delightful World AIDS Day at Tweed Heads Hospital manning a table set up with lots of goodies to highlight and bring awareness to passers by that HIV and AIDS is still around.  Did you know that in NSW, there were more than 300 new cases of HIV diagnosed last year?  Right now there are more than 10,080 people living with HIV in NSW alone.

It has been 22 years since I began my work with the West Australian AIDS Council and things have certainly changed since those days.  With the advent of combination therapies, some dear friends from that time in my life, are still alive and well.  Whilst that is great news, the message still remains the same.  PRACTISE SAFE SEX ALWAYS!!!  World AIDS Day on the 1st December each year, serves as a reminder that Sexually Transmitted Infections are a reality and HIV is still affecting lives here in Australia, as well as overseas.  So condoms are a very practical and safe option to reduce the risks of infection and remain protected.

On that note, I want to share a story....

There is a real fun book available if you are in for a lazy weekend and happy to read about a 50 year old woman's sexual romps in the most desirable, romantic and idyllic getaways all over the globe.  The name of the book is Keep it in Yor Knickers

I have met the author in person, and was very cheeky and mentioned to her that after I devoured the book in 5 hours straight, I was left with a curious question... which was "Did you ever use condoms with those different sexual partners?"  her answer was "No". 

There are a few books out that highlight finding a new lease on life, where various aged women over 50 get it on with men and finally experience some extraordinary sex!!  Good on them.  May I say though, Safe Sex is not just for gay men and the young... it is for everyone, bi, gay, straight, young, old.  It is about taking measures of self responsibility and looking out for number one.  YOU!!!  Who really wants to play Russian Roulette with their life, by having fantastic sex, with various partners, before being dealt the the blow of being diagnosed with HIV or and STI?  Sure you could always be one of the lucky ones, but then again, how do you KNOW that?

So I guess it is a personal thing.  I can only strongly encourage you to play safe, I have seen first hand and worked for six years with aftermath of those left their personal safety out of the equation when it came to having unprotected sex.

I remember thinking yesterday, as I had different conversations with Sexual Health Officers, Administration staff, patients and clinical staff, that there was a common thread to each conversation and that was that it seems there is no longer the level of education and information being made available to those at risk in the community at large.  That is,  those attending secondary schools, as well as university.  The huge surge in oral STI's is an indicator that all is not as it should be, when it comes to the youth of today making fully informed decisions in experimenting or being involved in any type of sexual activity. 

I for one, can not see any immediate change, especially if schools are unable to give some real, authentic and practical information regarding the pros and cons of sexual activity, the use of condoms and HOW to implement the use of them especially for oral pleasure.  Being unable to advocate self pleasure and promoting that as a normal, natural and life enhancing undertaking.  Offering alternatives to young girls who are feeling the call of sexual awakening in promoting the use of appropriate intimate pleasure products, rather than the boy next door being the product of their pleasure. 

There will always be room for improvement in the sex education stakes that is for sure. Maybe my solutions are too radical, but they are definately a safer option!

 The most read blog on this site is my reaction to the documentary "The Perfect Vagina".  I have found the documentary still available to watch, so put your feet up and watch this..

I would like to add,this documentary is about cosmetic surgery, about not being happy with your lot, believing youself to be 'abnormal down there'.

Surgery may restore self-esteem and your labia may look like the magazines (which after airbrushing and photo shopping aren't real anyway), but you will have lost your uniqueness.

However, I do realise there are medical reasons for having this type of surgery which I fully support. Discomfort during intercourse, discomfort wearing clothing and with some sporting activities. Labioplasty is done for two reasons: medical reasons and aesthetic or beautification reasons.

At the end of the day your body is yours and no one elses.  Whilst I personally am not an advocate of "oh this looks like shit, cut it off and make me look better", at the end of the day it is only my opinion.

I would hasten to add though, should any reader be contemplating this type of surgery, do your research, question everything, get a second opinion and remember altering anything on the outside does not change who you are on the inside.

Take a look at this video which shows another side to this dilemma of not liking your vulva.  They love the result of what this guy does though.  Excellent viewing!

Having a sex life is not compulsory! The point is though, it is life enhancing.

If you both feel happy not to continue with your sex life, that is fine, there are plenty of effective ways to still feel and know love intimately with your partner.  But equally, if you are a couple that have an enjoyable sex life then go for it.  Sex is not just for the young and beautiful, ( or is that The Bold and the Beautiful?), it is for all of us as we grow older and head into the latter years.

There is still a stereotype that people aged over a certain age sit around in lazy-boy chairs and need a cane to get around.  This is simply not true. Those working in Aged Care would be able to tell you different!! And why is it that most sexual information on anyone over 70 is all about their sexual problems rather than their sexual satisfaction?

Those of us in our sixties today grew up in a more sexually liberated time, we were the love generation, the flower children.  We were the ones that set about liberating all things sexual and were advocates of 'free love' and 'making love not war'.  Wouldn't you know it, we are now heading towards the seventh decade of life on the planet.

I am so glad to have friends in their seventies that lead active sex lives and flourish because of it. Thank goodness for the studies that claim frequent love making is life enhancing, and that those who experience exquisite sexual interaction have not only great health, but actually appear to be younger looking than their age would otherwise have you think.  I would also go as far to say that most 'elderly' people I know personally,  consider sexual activity and subsequent associated feelings a natural part of their life. Good to know!

Sex although an important and positive part of our lives, is certainly not all about penetrative sex as there are other types of sexual activity which might be favoured by couples and older people. We all have our own sexual appetite and rhythm and as the decades pass our libido changes not only sexually but emotionally as well. Our commitment to communicating with our significant other and maintaining intimacy is what moulds the sacredness of any relationship and enables us to dovetail sexually in harmony.

Sex is  believed to be an elixir for longevity.  As I have explained in other writings orgasm releases oxytocins.  Often dubbed as the love hormone, oxytocin triggers energy, relaxation and fulfilment.
During sex the brain produces and releases serotonin as well as dopamine.  These are known as the euphoria chemicals which is what gives you the feeling of immense pleasure.  That pleasure, in turn, liberates the hormone, endorphin.  There you have it.  This impressive line up of natural chemicals and hormones along with the stimulation of the heart rate, the pumping of the lungs has you burning calories and, well... is it any wonder sexual activity reinvigorates your entire body, not to mention your taste for life.  Carpe Diem!

Re-produced from Channel Nine News

06:00 AEST Fri Dec 24 2010

A company behind medical services and medications for men suffering from sexual problems is being sued by a consumer watchdog for allegedly failing to diagnose men properly.

The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission started legal proceedings against Sydney-based company Advanced Medical Institute Pty Ltd and its subsidiary AMI Australia Holdings Pty Ltd, its chief executive Jacov Vaisman and two doctors in the Federal Court in Melbourne on Tuesday.

Lawyers for AMI, which is in voluntary administration, were informed of the proceedings on Wednesday, the same day Mr Vaisman and one of the doctors were served with court documents, the ACCC said.

The watchdog alleges from 2008 to 2010 AMI acted unconscionably in breach of the Trade Practices Act.

"The ACCC alleges that among other things doctors engaged by AMI conducted consultations with patients in manners which did not provide an appropriate diagnosis and medical treatment of male sexual dysfunction," the ACCC said in a statement on Thursday.

"AMI's sales representatives represented to patients they would be entitled to a refund if the AMI treatments were ineffective in circumstances where the sales representatives did not accurately or clearly disclose the conditions on which the refund was offered."

The ACCC alleges Mr Vaisman and the two doctors were knowingly concerned, a party to or otherwise aided, abetted, counselled or procured the contravention of the Trade Practices Act by AMI.

"The ACC is seeking declarations and injunctions against each of the respondents together with a disqualification against Mr Vaisman, disclosure orders against AMI, costs and other orders."

It is not the first time AMI has landed in hot water.

Its bold billboards were banned by advertising regulators two years ago and earlier this month the Equal Opportunity Division of the Administrative Decisions Tribunal ordered it to pay $30,000 in compensation for unlawfully discriminating against an HIV-positivepatient.

AMI's administrators Trent Hancock and Michael Hird, from BDO Australia, said in a statement on Wednesday that their appointment was not expected to have any impact on "AMI's hundreds of thousands of clients in Australia and New Zealand"