Sassy Chat

After receiving a link to a documentary on "My Penis and Everyone Else's", I really have to share.  When I saw this at first, as I clicked open the video, I thought I would only watch the first five minutes and see what it was about.  I finished up watching the entire hour!!!

 It was funny, hilarious at times, it was also rather sobering and indeed very thought provoking.  I had no idea men were so hung up about their penis!!  This documentary is indeed an emotional, revealing and engaging journey, that had me rivetted from the outset.  I strongly recommend EVERYONE to watch it.

 I have to say that the guy who hosted the whole documentary has balls!!  What an amazing character to do what he did in trying to draw men out of their fears and comfort zone and be so up front about the size of his penis, which was..... well.... watch the video and find out!  It would be fair to say that my view of men and their penis is forever changed!!

Having a sex life is not compulsory! The point is though, it is life enhancing.

If you both feel happy not to continue with your sex life, that is fine, there are plenty of effective ways to still feel and know love intimately with your partner.  But equally, if you are a couple that have an enjoyable sex life then go for it.  Sex is not just for the young and beautiful, ( or is that The Bold and the Beautiful?), it is for all of us as we grow older and head into the latter years.

There is still a stereotype that people aged over a certain age sit around in lazy-boy chairs and need a cane to get around.  This is simply not true. Those working in Aged Care would be able to tell you different!! And why is it that most sexual information on anyone over 70 is all about their sexual problems rather than their sexual satisfaction?

Those of us in our sixties today grew up in a more sexually liberated time, we were the love generation, the flower children.  We were the ones that set about liberating all things sexual and were advocates of 'free love' and 'making love not war'.  Wouldn't you know it, we are now heading towards the seventh decade of life on the planet.

I am so glad to have friends in their seventies that lead active sex lives and flourish because of it. Thank goodness for the studies that claim frequent love making is life enhancing, and that those who experience exquisite sexual interaction have not only great health, but actually appear to be younger looking than their age would otherwise have you think.  I would also go as far to say that most 'elderly' people I know personally,  consider sexual activity and subsequent associated feelings a natural part of their life. Good to know!

Sex although an important and positive part of our lives, is certainly not all about penetrative sex as there are other types of sexual activity which might be favoured by couples and older people. We all have our own sexual appetite and rhythm and as the decades pass our libido changes not only sexually but emotionally as well. Our commitment to communicating with our significant other and maintaining intimacy is what moulds the sacredness of any relationship and enables us to dovetail sexually in harmony.

Sex is  believed to be an elixir for longevity.  As I have explained in other writings orgasm releases oxytocins.  Often dubbed as the love hormone, oxytocin triggers energy, relaxation and fulfilment.
During sex the brain produces and releases serotonin as well as dopamine.  These are known as the euphoria chemicals which is what gives you the feeling of immense pleasure.  That pleasure, in turn, liberates the hormone, endorphin.  There you have it.  This impressive line up of natural chemicals and hormones along with the stimulation of the heart rate, the pumping of the lungs has you burning calories and, well... is it any wonder sexual activity reinvigorates your entire body, not to mention your taste for life.  Carpe Diem!

  "Fast sex, like fast food, is cheap, but it doesn’t nourish the body- or the soul”- Suzanne Fields

Be honest, when a woman goes down on you, you want the act to act as long as possible, right? We, women, feel the same. A lightning fast orgasm borders frustration more than pleasure. Of course, when giving oral sex, we don’t want your mouth and tongue to go numb or your jaw to get stuck and become robotic, but we would really appreciate if the whole experience lasted more than a mere two minutes. Unless of course we are on our way to work, we’re late, but you decide to surprise us with a quick number. Then we won’t blame you for being too fast, we’re just going to appreciate that you wanted us to go to work… free of any tension!

That said, if you get too excited while you’re doing your partner, remember that while you’re sucking all over she’s praying for it not to be over too soon, which means that she’s bound to miss the full pleasure of climaxing.

Here’s a few tricks to make oral sex last longer than usual:

1.    Don’t chase the hot spots first. In the proper sense of the word, oral sex means you can kiss and caress ALL of her erogenous spots, not just the clitoris, which is the QUEEN of hot spots. Most men err because they choose to take the safe road and go for what they know for sure is working. Big mistake! The most important aspect of oral sex is exploring, the majority of women enjoy cunnilingus when it’s their whole body that is being taken care of and cherished. It’s a sign of love and intimacy and we adore to feel like we’re being put on a pedestal and treated like queens. So, use your tongue to lick the surrounding areas: her inner thighs, her belly button, even her anus. Get creative and surprise her with different ideas and movements as you locate her hot spots.

2.    Change pace. Instead of running your tongue up and down like somebody’s chasing you, lick her at different speeds. Do it in slow motion, making sure that you miss no spot, and pick up the pace when you feel she’s relaxed enough and ready to go to the next level. By changing the rhythm, you grant her oral sex with different sensations, thereby lessening the chances of her orgasming too quickly. Give her time to unleash tension, keep building up sensation and the final Big O will grow bigger than both of you dare to imagine.

http://www.gabriellemoore.com/hlicks/marieelise

3.    Hands off! Even if she begs you to use your hands (either to insert fingers into her vagina, or rub her breasts) don’t give her the satisfaction, yet! The fact that she feels like she’s being deprived of pleasure makes her more eager to make the most of what she does get, and when you’re finally succumbing to her wishes, things are bound to get explosive. You know what you can also do with your hands? You can masturbate in front of her. The image of you pleasuring yourself at the same time is really intimate and her entire body and mind will be flooded with pleasure.

4.    Interrupt the act. To have a sip of wine, to kiss her passionately on the mouth, to rest your hand on her thighs, to run your fingers through her hair, whatever comes to mind. Then start all over again. The pause will leave her body in expectant and heightened desire mode and the orgasm will be delayed, which she will really appreciate. Don’t stop to go to the bathroom or see what’s on TV or go grab a bite of food, that’s only going to kill her mood and she won’t orgasm at all in the end. And you’ll look terribly insensitive.

5.    Make it into a game. Laugh with her, ask her how she’d want you to do her, what she’ll prefer you to do next, tickle her softly, let her be involved in the whole act. That will get her mind off climaxing for a while, but she’ll still enjoy the warm sensations of your mouth and tongue. When she least expects it, get serious and speed things up. When the orgasm comes unexpectedly, the feeling is far greater than when you’re begging for it to grace you with its presence.

Have a deliciously sensual week, hot oral week!!

P.S. 85% percent of women like their oral sex to last between 7 and 15 minutes. Either if they’re on the giving or receiving end.

http://www.gabriellemoore.com/hlicks/marieelise

A sign of the times.  The ups and downs of every day life, living, coping, rushing, arranging, no wonder there are times where sex takes the back seat, we succumb to depression and taking feel good pills like Prozac. 

 Research indicates that a that since 1990, the number of prescriptions for anti-depressants here in Australia has risen from five million a year to 12 million in a population of just 20 million.

Discussing this today, it would be fair to say we all experience 'off' days. Somedays we bounce out of bed eager and excited about flying headlong into the days experiences.  Other times we are loathe to get out of bed, want to 'hide' there all day and just not face the world, especially one full of responsibilites.

Some of the most 'together' people I know who lead active lives, have lots of sex (contrary to general belief) and seem so in control, are really not in charge of their life at all.  It is all numbed by the use of anti-depressants.  Seems there are those of us who will never stop looking for the answers to happiness in the bottom of a bottle.  Maybe it is simply because we do not have the skills (and maybe are not willing to learn them anyway) to monitor what we think,to take control of our behaviour, to understand that what constantly churns through our mind and comes out of our mouth REALLY IS our point of attraction.

We have heard it said that if you tell someone they are stupid for long enough - they will finish up believing it.   The same goes for what we tell ourselves, the stories that goes round and round, the way we argue for our limitations.  "I can't because I have three kids, a husband and a dog", "I am always tired because there is so much cleaning up to do", "I never feel like sex because I am always worn out at the end of the day",  "put yourself in my shoes and see how it feels", the answers roll off the tongue and are automated responses because of the stories we keep telling. 

Not coping at times is valid, we all succumb to pressure at some stage of our lives.  AND happiness and vitality is a choice!! Fuelling ourselves with alcohol, potions, lotions and pills brings temporary relief, God knows I get a headache from time to time - I take a pill AND go for a walk, or a swim to clear the blocked energy.

I remember years ago feeling overwhelmed with life and its responsibilities and my Doctor putting me on anti-depressants.  I lasted 4 weeks and biffed them!  I had gone from a non coping person to someone who wanted to do myself in - in a matter of weeks.  Went back to having sex - lots of it - and found that worked best.

We are all different and cope differently,  We take our responsibilities differently. We will always have up and our down days.   FEELING good is an attitude and a perception that begins with taking responsibility for our thoughts, actions and behaviours, and refraining from using someone else out there as an excuse for not coping.   Sex anyone??