How Many is Too Many?

Sex partners that is….

We all have a list. It may be just a mental rundown, maybe it is all written out, lest we forget. We all know, give or take, a few forgettable experiences, how many conquests, disasters and meaningful moments we have shared with members of the opposite sex….or, of course with members of the same sex.

Is there a world wide average? How would that be determined?  Doesn’t everyone taint the truth, just a little?  Generally men add a few…..wouldn’t want to think the seed wasn’t being spread far and wide. Then there are the women that take a few off the list when discussing it, so as not to appear too loose. What is too many?

This must obviously depend on many factors. Your age must be a denominator, the amount of time that you have spent in long term relationships, your sexual appetite.

We do not all desire the same amount of sexual engagement as one another. A deeply depressing and unfortunate situation if you end up in a relationship with a mismatch.

So does it really matter how many, or does it matter- how well? How good are the memories?

If it really is subjective, why is it a question always asked?

Maybe we are all trying to justify our own number of conquests by comparing it with those of others. Does this mean that we judge people on the amount of partners that they have had? Worse still, are we judging ourselves on the number of different sexual partners as well?

How, I wonder, would only having had sexual relations with two or three men make any woman more moral, good or respectful than a woman who had been with 50 men or 100?

Surely these things depend on how we conduct ourselves in society, not in the privacy of ours or others bedrooms.

Does sleeping with many partners really make you more ‘experienced’? A wonderful, loving and sexually inquisitive relationship with one partner could deliver more answers and moments of pure amazement than 1000 nights of non engaging, self centered animalistic pleasure.

So what ever your number, it is yours, the experiences are yours and the lessons they have taught you are yours too. You may have a number, but it is not who you are!

Pepper Goldsmith